STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIPS

There is a basic foundational truth in Christianity, declared by Jesus and throughout the Bible:  Love God and love people.  We are instructed in Galatians…if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted.  Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

Let’s look at three aspects of relationships:

1)   THE BEGINNING OF RELATIONSHIPS

• In Genesis 1 is the account of creation.  After each day it says, “and God saw that it was good”.  Then in Genesis 2 something happens, and God says, “It is not good”.  Genesis 2:18 tells us, that God saw that Adam was alone and knew it was best that he had a helpmate.  Eve was not an afterthought, God intentionally made Adam incomplete.  By himself, Adam couldn’t reflect the relational, multi-personal nature of God.  In fact, God says, “Let us make man in our image”.  God thrives as King of the universe, partly because He has Holy Spirit and Jesus.  In all other non-Christian religions people believe in a pantheistic god who is present everywhere yet is impersonal.  Or they believe in a god who is one but is also impersonal. 

• In Christianity, relationships have always been a key part of God.  Part of the reason God made mankind was to display His goodness and glory throughout eternity.  He also calls us a bride to His Son, a joint heir, and one who will rule and reign with Him forever.   We bloom in relationships because through them we reflect the God of relationships.

2)    THE PROBLEM WITH RELATIONSHIPS

• Anyone who has been involved in relationships knows that they can be a tremendous joy and delight, but they all run the risk of challenges.   Even Jesus had to deal with disappointments, shortcomings, familiarity, betrayal, and jealousy. 

• Three of the main destructive forces against healthy relationships are spoken of in Galatians 5:26- Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  The word “conceited” means “empty of glory”.  The biblical definition of glory includes the words “weight, matter, and substance”.  These definitions suggest that those who are conceited actually have a sense of emptiness and are trying to prove to themselves and others that they really are “all that”.    A popular rock star and actress named “Madonna” was quoted in People magazine after being asked about pushing through different levels of fear….” My drive in life is to not feel mediocre.  That’s what pushes me because even though I’ve become someone to others, I still push myself to prove I’m someone to myself.  My struggle has never ended, and it never will.”

• The word “provoke” means “to challenge or look down at someone with a superiority complex”.  Provokers are those who tend to ignore struggling people because they believe that if they have made it in life, so should you.  They are good at making others feel insecure. 

• The “envying” people look up and want what they don’t have.   They want someone else’s life and tend to make others feel used or watched.  These three words are at the top of the list of what destroys relationships.

3) HAVING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS

• Throughout the Bible you will find that there is very little written to individuals, and it is mostly written to God’s covenant people, to a church, to a representative of a church, or to a community.  God meant for the Bible to be read, lived, and obeyed as a community. 

• If we desire to have healthy communities, one thing we must strive for is to become a community of restoration.  Restoration is not accommodation.  It includes confrontation.  The word “restoration” in the Bible comes from a Greek word that means “to set a bone”.  It implies grace, love, and mercy as well as confrontation.  We see in Proverbs 27:5-6- “Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

• Some of our relationships may be with people who struggle with addictions, eating disorders, prescription drug use, sexual bondage, or anger.  We need to follow the warnings of Galatians 6:1 which tells us to “consider yourself lest you also be tempted” when attempting to restore someone we’re in a relationship with.  Healthy communities take their own sin more seriously than others.  Galatians 6:5 tells us, “For each one shall bear his own load”, while verse 2 says, “bear one another’s burdens”.  This may sound contradictory, but it is saying it is both.  We need to share burdens with others and then have the capacity to bear their burdens as well as our own.  God is calling us to not settle on being just a consumer or a critic.  We are to be a contributor to healthy relationships.