DEALING WITH REGRETS

Most of us have some regrets.  These may stem from poor decisions in areas such as health issues, finances, relationships, purchases, and more. 

One of the main Bible characters associated with regrets is found in Hebrews 12: Esau.   In verses 16-17, it reads, Make sure that no one is immoral or godless like Esau, who traded his birthright as the firstborn son for a single meal.  You know that afterward, when he wanted his father’s blessing, he was rejected.  It was too late for repentance, even though he begged with bitter tears.  (New Living Translation)

Regret can keep you paralyzed in your past.  Two of the main weapons that Satan uses against us is regret and shame.  Regret is feeling bad about what you did, and shame is feeling bad about who you are.  The enemy will try and make you feel that you have now become what you did.  This is called confusing your performance with your identity.  You will believe the lie, ‘If I performed this way, this must be my identity.”

We need to know who we are in Christ.  We are a brand-new creature whose past is washed away by the blood of Jesus.  Your haters may know a whole lot about your history, but they don’t know anything about your destiny.  God always has the best in front of u,s and it far outweighs the mistakes of our past.

We need to remind ourselves that “there is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”  (Romans 8:1). Having the ability to regret is actually good because it helps us to learn from our mistakes.  In fact, one of the main traits of a sociopath Is having no regrets. 

When do regrets become a problem?  When past mistakes are the thing that most occupies the thoughts of your mind.  It is unhealthy to spend more time rehearsing past failures than in rejoicing in God’s goodness to us.   Back to Esau….

Throughout the Bible, most of the main characters made some big mistakes.  Isaac was fooled by Jacob and gave him Esau’s blessing as the firstborn.  Moses was called by God to deliver the Israelites out of Egyptian bondage, yet in a moment of uncontrolled anger, he killed an Egyptian who was mistreating a Jew.  This resulted in him spending 40 years in the wilderness.  David committed adultery with Bathsheba, had her husband killed, and fathered Solomon.  This resulted in a divided Israel as Solomon received David’s iniquity of lust and backslid in his later years, causing a divided Israel.  Lot chose to live in Sodom and Gomorrah, causing him to eventually lose his wife, home, and the spiritual well-being of his two daughters.  In Genesis 25, Esau sells his birthright as firstborn to Jacob for a bowl of soup.  It has such negative consequence that we find him used as a negative example of regret hundreds of years later in Hebrews 12. 

After this chapter talks about Esau, it then warns us not to let a root of bitterness spring up within us and defile many.  Bitterness is called a root because it is hidden from view.  It is hidden from others and even yourself much of the time.  Notice that it says that bitterness will “spring up” and then defile many.  This means that bitterness is like a lion in the tall grass, hidden from the prey until the opportune time comes for it to “spring up” and bring forth death or destruction.  How many of us have regrets of losing our temper or giving in to revenge and then saying or doing something that brings destruction, causing a defiling (scattering) of relationships?  Our money can be defiled, our marriages defiled, our health defiled, and more if we allow a root of bitterness to dwell in us, wound up tightly like a watch spring, waiting to pounce and bring forth a bad decision, scattering many.

Esau’s name means “hairy,” and it also means “red” because it is derived from the name “Edom,” which means “red” in Hebrew.  Esau was named by what his parents saw at birth.  A hairy baby boy who was red all over.  They named him by what they saw in the flesh and not by the Spirit.  The same thing is true of his twin brother Jacob, whose name means “deceiver”.

You may be affected today by people in your past who identified you by what they saw.  Perhaps your father, mother, relatives, friends, or peers called you “lazy, loser, idiot, or some other derogatory name.  We need to remind ourselves that God gives us a name that identifies our destiny and potential in life.  In the book of Judges, Gideon sees the Angel of the Lord and identifies himself as the “least”.  “I am least in my clan, least in my family, least of the least” (Judges 6:15). Yet the Angel of the Lord called him, “Mighty man of valor”.   As you read about Gideon and his victory over the Midianites, you will find this is exactly what he was.

Esau is an example of the truth that the very thing which identifies you erroneously will lead to your downfall and regrets if not dealt with.  The problem Esau had was that he didn’t see the value of what he carried.  The call and blessing of the firstborn.  The definition of regret is:  Distress caused by thinking your present situation could be better or happier if you had done something different in the past.  HERE ARE THREE KEYS FOR MAKING DECISIONS:

1)     Don’t make decisions in isolation:  Proverbs 11:14 tells us, Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.

When you are going through painful situations, don’t forget to seek counsel.

2)    Don’t make decisions when you are tired.  Esau was tired.  He had been stalking, walking, and hunting for game for his father to eat for hours.  When he arrived back home, he was famished and exhausted.   This is why God has established a day of rest for us each week.  The God who made the universe rested on the seventh day.  He leads us beside still waters so that He can restore our souls. 

3)    Don’t make decisions for immediate gratification.  Esau was so hungry after hunting that he told Jacob, “Give me a bowl of that stew!   What is the birthright to me?   I need food now!”.  Interestingly, the man who was named “hairy and red” by his parents was deceived out of his birthright by hair being applied to his brother’s arms and red soup prepared by his hand.  He lost his birthright to the one who extended his arm, grabbing his heel in the birth canal, and was named “deceiver, heel grasper” by his parents.  Having your identity established by God is so important.  If we allow others to define us in the flesh, it will lead to us making bad decisions for immediate gratification.

Praise God that we serve the One who gives us a second chance.  Who works all things together for the good, for those who love Him and are called by His name.  Ruth made the mistake of marrying a Gentile and living in a pagan land, yet it turns out that he was the right man to die at the right time to set her up to meet Boaz in Bethlehem.  She ends up marrying him, becoming wealthy and fulfilled, and is found in the genealogy of Jesus.  The thief who died near Jesus on a cross made mistakes that brought him the death sentence.  Yet he was at the right place at the right time to receive forgiveness and be with God forever in heaven.

Don’t live in regrets, but choose to live as the new creation you now are in Jesus Christ.  God can even take your mistakes of the past and turn them for your good when He is Lord of your life.